Startup Anxiety
This is my first attempt at writing, so bear with me. I am writing here to release my thoughts because, frankly, I have nowhere to put them.
I’m 21, turning 22 in just a few days, and I have been working on an iOS application called Bucket . My college friends and I worked on this together. I wanted to share the struggles that I have faced during the pandemic while trying to build this application.
Never-ending
One thing I’ve noticed during this process is that people love to brag online. The ones I interact with zone in about how amazing it is to become a millionaire or how they are so successful. This dream fuels not all, but many entrepreneurs. The dream of success can sometimes seem unattainable as starting companies/projects can have never-ending work. The work is always on your shoulders the second you wake up to the moment you go back to bed.
Most startups do not just appear out of thin air, but rather come from side hustles. I’ve noticed that work/life balance can be non-existent while you spend your free time for life on your startup. This means you’re attempting to work two full-time jobs at once.
The team and I have not taken any funding or angel investing. This has resulted in doubling the time it took to launch our product. I do not regret this decision as we have total control and can implement changes within 24 hours. Bucket has been through so many iterations as we beta tested for almost 6 months.
Sacrifice
The anxiety of creating something from scratch often means you’re up late thinking. Sleepless nights spill into your regular work affecting productivity. While building Bucket, I was a full-time college student getting ready to start my first software engineering internship. I failed my first class in college due to not putting enough time into studying. The dream of running a successful company and not joining the regular workforce distracted me from why I was in college in the first place. Not only did I fail this class, but I now have to pay more tuition to retake it and add to my crippling student debt.
For 3 years, I dreamed of working for a company and getting the chance to be paid to code. I finally had it. Except, my summer was filled with nothing but stress and anxiety. I was too busy focusing all my energy into Bucket. I did not get a return full-time offer from the company I interned for, resulting in no job security for post-graduation (during a pandemic).
No money, no security, and an entrepreneurship dream that is chipped away day by day. The hardships and reality set in fast when you are creating something BIG.
Pressure
Social media has created a bubble of unattainable happiness at all times. As you scroll through Tik Tok, Instagram, and Snapchat you are constantly reminded that you are not living the best life and someone is doing much better than you. The pressure of being a millionaire, working at a Fortune 500 company, FANG, and watching your friends get the job you have always dreamed of while you focus on a company with success always seeming to get farther and farther away from you….
Conclusion
So many negatives, why keep going?
At the end of the day, there is no greater joy than working on something you believe in. A close second would be working with people you love. Getting a chance to create something with friends has been a blessing. Additionally, the thrill of hearing users throughout the world love your product. Working for yourself can bring a lot of responsibility, but also so much freedom! Although I have not been paid a single dollar, I have been given an opportunity that I do not want to give up on. I am only just getting started. We only launched one month ago and we’re excited to see what the world brings to us next!
I am excited to keep working on Bucket until someone else tells me to quit. Working on something you believe in not only is a rush, but gives hope during these difficult times.
